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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Republicans On The Clock

OK, you tea-bagging, ad-lying, woman-bullying, President-hating SOBs-- you won the election, and now you're on the clock.

You gave Obama 2 years-- one-quarter of the time Bush was president-- to fix the biggest treasonous theft from the American people that ever was performed.

Now, you get the same. One-quarter the time. That's six months for you mentally diminished haters.

Come on-- fix America. What, you're not done yet?

You think it's been fun hatin' on the black guy, and now you've got your double-digit IQ clan around you, dancing in victory.

Have you fixed America yet? What-- it's harder than you thought? What-- the other party isn't helping your agenda? What-- people on the other side are calling you bad names?

Shoe's on the other foot now, ya dimwit bullies.

The only people this election is going to help is Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

We will be watching you in your secret smoke-filled rooms. We will be challenging your every decision in court. And we will be screaming on every media outlet available.

Just like you did.

We will be opposing every single action you make. Even if you just raise your hand to go to the bathroom.

We are going to call you every name in the book. Even if it's mean, or distasteful, or not based in fact.

Because, you see-- we have learned from you what works.

You have opened all the doors, and thrown out all the rules of civil discourse.

Good-- I like the adreneline rush of fighting for an underdog. I like pointing out the errors of the ignorant. And I like it when someone says 'no holds barred', because, to be quite honest, I am really good at ripping fools in their folly.

Oh, it's on. It is SO ON.

By the end of the next two years, you're going to think Keith Olbermann was Mr. Warm Fuzzy.

By the end of the next election cycle, you're going to feel like we do now-- that Canada is looking awfully good.

But I'm not going to go hang out with the moose and start watchin' hockey. Oh, no.

I am quitting my job and becoming one of the worst nightmares you have ever seen, or dreamt of, or imagined in your most insecure moment.

I am going to double-barrel blog you, belittle you, attack you, and yes, I might even consider lying about you-- because you have shown that's what America wants.

Or at least that's what America responds to in an election.

Oh sure-- my lies will be sarcasm-- something which totally flies over the head of a lot of your bamboozled, fear-ridden minions.

And yes, I will use words that you don't really understand, like minions.

Have you fixed America yet? What, you haven't even been sworn in yet? EXCUSES WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

I want every one of you to show your birth certificates. NOW. I want every one of you to swear you are not a muslim. IMMEDIATELY. I want every one of you to kiss the Constitution, and swear loyalty on Ronald Reagan's grave. OR ELSE.

How dare you go out in public not wearing the flag! COMMUNIST!

I know that you are still miffed about the Mexican immigrants that are taking the jobs you wanted to ship off to China. How dare they not be white people!

I know that you still are miffed that the federal government dares to make your corporations and your billionaires actually pay taxes.

Don't worry, after you cut off all the poor's social benefits, they'll still be able to afford a bus ticket. To your house. To steal food for their starving children because you cut off their food stamps.

And let me tell you-- if you think your guns are going to save you from the social outrage of the oppressed, you obviously don't know history-- or have ever been in East Cleveland. Or Detroit. Or New York. Or Los Angeles.

It's on, ya bullies. Have you fixed America yet???

1 comment:

  1. Filing your blog in my RSS folder "Mostly Harmless (Liberals)"